Originally posted April 2, 2005
OK, I am an Astrologer, and as such I am prone to make statements like - ‘Oh, It’s only Mercury in Retrograde!’, but this one has been a comedy of errors. Here’s my most recent story, and I’m sticking to it! –

There is a glass shelf in our bathroom that sits into a metal tray, and was recently broken by a misplaced candle holder. It was an odd size and I wanted to have it replaced, so I took it out and put it in the car to show the glass guy at the glass shop where I figured I could easily have it replaced.

I also have a wall on which there are metal tracks for shelves. I have three thick glass shelves that are quite beautiful, but very dirty and covered in a rubbery cementy glue. I recently painted this room a lovely buttery yellow, and wanted to fix up the shelves. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Wrong.

It started innocently enough with a trip to Home Despot to get the metal shelf arms upon which to rest the three glass shelves. These shelves are 6 inches deep. I searched and searched and the closest I could come to that size was an 8 inch shelf arm. “Well, I’ll try it,” I thought and picked up 6. On the way home, I stopped at the glass shop, and showed the man my broken bathroom shelf, gave him the right length measurement and handed him the shelf itself, and which point I said something like, “It needs to be the same width as this one.” He went into the back and soon emerged with the gleaming replacement, which I tucked under my arm and pranced out with.

I got home, and cleaned off the three thick shelves until they gleamed. But when I went to install the brackets, I found that they were too thick and did not fit - damn! I then went to install the shelf in the bathroom, and though the shelf was the exact right length - 19 3/4 inches, it was about an 8th of an inch TOO WIDE, and also did not fit. Getting in and out of here is not easy matter, with our roads closed half the time for repairs from the recent flooding so I had to wait until the next day when I went to take the shelf and the brackets back, but the glass store was closed. So I went to a local harware store to look for more brackets. They had 6 inch ones, and they seemed a wee bit thinner (much like I wished myself to be) - so I picked up 6. I took them home, they fit like a dream. After I installed the three lovely shelves and artfully placed some photos, books and a few candles on them, I was pleased. I was proud, they looked great. BUT, they might look a little better if I added two more shelves.

The next day, I went back to the glass shop. I showed him my shelf, and explained my problem. I also ordered the two OTHER shelves for the bedroom. I explained the measurements - 6 inches deep, 18 inches long and 1/2 inch THICK. I pointed at a shelf in his office that was the correct thickness. He said the job would be done the next day, in the course of a 3 minute conversation, he called me ‘Kiddo’ at least 5 times. I am 37 years old. I shouldn’t complain, at least he wasn’t referring to me as the little old lady from Pasadena. I went back to the hardware store and picked up 4 more brackets - for the next two bedroom shelves.

The next day I returned and picked up three shelves. I promptly went to the bathroom to insert the shelf into it’s tray. It fit! Success! I went to place the two other shelves in thier homes, and discovered that they were TOO THIN! That’s right, not half inch glass as I had pointed out and specifically stated, but quarter inch glass which looked terrible and did not match my other three shelves. Steam started rising from my ears. “This is rediculous” I thought. And that was Friday. Now I have to wait until Monday to go back and have the glass guy put together TWO MORE shelves for me! I am anticipating that when I arrive on Monday, he will not be there, and his replacement will stare at me blinking uncomprehendingly at my plight. And all I wanted was A NICE SHELF UNIT for the bedroom!

And I haven’t even started on the story about how the cable company keeps telling me that the new Fiberoptic system is not available in my neighborhood - never mind that the neighbors on either side of me have just had it installed!

Happpy Mercury in Retrograde!

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