I am CAPRICORN: Honor me - Ruled by Saturn

Standing tall, shoulders back, solemn look on his face our CAPRICORN friends long to achieve the pinnacle of their profession, drawing the esteem and respect of their peers. Awards, medals, trophies, status symbols, titles and other distinctions of honor are coveted, and usually achieved by the rugged mountain GOAT.

Trouble is, that mountain is really tall, and really, really rocky, with icy peaks, and even, shudder, avalanches. No matter, the tougher the challenge, the more interested our patient planner is in reaching that highest pinnacle. You see he seeks to view the world from lofty heights, and by gum, he’ll get there, no matter who or what he has to kill to do it. Not that all CAP’S have a heartless streak, it’s just that many of them can’t understand other people’s weepy sentimentality. ‘Life is hard,’ your local GOAT snorts, ‘let’s get on with it.’ And she bounds effortlessly up a 90-degree incline, leaving you shaking in your hiking boots.

You see the goal is the thing for these people. He can be guilty of valuing the idea of the thing more than the thing or the process itself. And they want evidence, solid tangible proof of their successes. Because without that, he or she fears that they will not exist. So, so serious, the CAPRICORN is yoked with his own impossibly high standards, and has little interest in all that namby-pamby self-help hooey. Chin up, onward the good soldier marches. Above all else he feels the need to leave a legacy behind him, something to prove she was there after she is dead and gone. Just to prove to the world that they could, would, and in fact did accomplish what they set out to.

But where did all this self-doubt come from in the first place? Why such a strong need to make a mark on the world? To be sure, most people just look at their GOAT friends and marvel at their wonderful cheekbones, physical agility and apparent ability to get younger as time marches unforgivingly onward, not to mention their determined ability to just plain ‘get the job done.’

The legacy of such a strict SATURNIAN planetary ruler cannot be ignored though. And brings to our CAP natives an inner fear, insecurity and stoic acceptance of life as challenge and pain. But the news is not all bad, oh no. Many of our CAPPY friends have learned to find the wry irony in life, and these are the ones who will have you rolling on the floor with a dry, unexpected delivery of some of the funniest one liners you have ever heard. But don’t forget the tears of the clown. Often this humor is born of common pain and a deep understanding of human suffering.

The watery depths of CANCER compliment the CAPRICORN temperament, and through its lessons of human connection, feeling, bonding and loss the GOAT ultimately learns to slow down and smell the flowers along the way (as he chews on one for nourishment). The ones who have learned this lesson in life are the ones who share the humor and joy with the rest of us and work for a deeper purpose. Ultimately he can actually learn to enjoy and share his inner burdens with others, and maybe even get a break or two from that relentless inner driving force. And breaking through her Chanel-clad image, you find a remarkably practical, no-nonsense gold-hearted soul, who knows exactly how to make things happen in the world. CAP’S are amazingly effective when they set their minds to something, and know just how to deal with bureaucracy and red tape. They just need to learn to enjoy the process and connect with their fellow souls on the journey. They are more loved than they think.

If you love one of these serious people, give them a massage. Have a trophy made at the local trophy shop commending them just for being them – NOT for what they can, have, or will accomplish. Love her, tell her she is wonderful, and approve of him for his human qualities, and more and more of them will be revealed to you. The talented person who knows how to pull this CAPRICORN out of their shell will be rewarded with randy and inventive sex, and beautiful trinkets and jewels as evidence of your CAP’S feelings for you, so what if she has trouble actually saying it.